For these reality stars, being escorted offstage feels like a victory in that they have become disruptive enough to create a moment. Michelle is also escorted offstage for some unknown reason. This doesn’t work, prompting Lyrica to disinvite her from her grandchild’s birth and the security team to escort her offstage. Instead, she whirls her hands and feet like the Tasmanian devil, hoping to land a hit in a tornado of fury. She’d be better off saving her biting lines for when she’s actually attacked. Pam’s outbursts are unprovoked, and thus they come across as inorganic. You must be unfiltered and shameless, but most importantly, you must seem real. I don’t believe the majority of the Love & Hip Hop cast understands what exactly goes into being a great reality star. I don’t know what’s possessed this woman, but it appears she watched 12 hours of Maury and thought this is how she could leave her mark on reality television. To be clear, the reason I find Pam’s behavior objectionable has nothing to do with the fact that she’s older or a mother, and everything to do with the fact that she is screaming like a wild banshee. Pam wants Lyrica G to stop asking her son for money, among other indecipherable things. We see that with A1’s mother, Pam, who goes on a tirade against Lyrica G, Lyrica’s mom. If Love & Hip Hop: Hollywood has taught me anything, it’s that for some, screen time is more valuable than dignity. Almost as tragic as the idea of a seven-months pregnant Lyrica alone in an adjacent room in front of a green screen and screaming at a Cisco camera. This consequently prompts Princess to scream, “You’re always targeting pregnant women,” as Moniece scrapes for the last word. This leads to an argument between Moniece and Lyrica, making Moniece the first of many to be escorted off the LHHH stage. Instead of taking the opportunity to call out all these men who defamed Lyrica’s character for pleasure, Moniece questions whether Lyrica received a lewd photo from Safaree. This sweaty clamor for screen time is gross and sad and also pathetic. As I suspected, all these men were lying about sleeping with a pregnant woman to promote their profile on the show. RoccStar also takes the opportunity to admit that he didn’t sleep with Lyrica. The only gratification we get is when Safaree admits once and for all that he didn’t sleep with Lyrica. Lyrica and A1’s unwillingness to discuss the story that dominated the entire season leaves us all feeling empty. This is a great strategy for an attorney general’s confirmation hearing, but we hold our reality TV reunion episodes to a much higher standard. When she begins to question A1 and Lyrica about their infidelity storyline, neither of them seem to remember anything. Unfortunately for Nina Parker, the cast is colluding against her and the audience. (And an honorable mention to the hardest-working security team on cable, who have the catlike reflexes and psychic abilities to disband any fight before it gets started.) Kudos to the former journalist/costume designer/actress for seeking the truth. Moderating a panel is never easy, especially when all the panelists do is scream and swear and threaten to attack each other. Whatever the reason, we start with Nina Parker, our gracious host, who has the very difficult job of babysitting these grown adults. Or perhaps because this show, in all its love and its hip-hop, is just very strange. Or perhaps it’s because there are so many people in the actual cast of LHHH that some of them are literally sitting in and commenting from the rafters. Maybe because there’s an old-timey car parked in the middle of the set. It’s that time of the year again when we gather ‘round the television/computer/tablet/iPhone Plus to watch the reunion of Love and Hip Hop: Hollywood (and surrounding Los Angeles counties). This reunion has such a weird vibe.
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